Friday, May 23, 2014
“Through the blur, I wondered if I was alone or if other parents felt the same way I did - that everything involving our children was painful in some way. The emotions, whether they were joy, sorrow, love or pride, were so deep and sharp that in the end they left you raw, exposed and yes, in pain. The human heart was not designed to beat outside the human body and yet, each child represented just that - a parent's heart bared, beating forever outside its chest.”
I borrowed these words because no others that I've ever read or could write myself come as close to capturing the experience of motherhood for me.
As I stand at the doorway of my second child, I feel the same sense of wonder and mystery that I did with my first. The day Tai was born, my heart broke open so widely that it felt, like Ginsberg wrote, that it was beating outside of my chest. I was flooded with a love that was deeper and more piercing than I'd ever felt-- it was overwhelming, beautiful, raw, and yes....painful.
What will it be like this time around? I ask my myself. Now that my heart is already so full and open and beating outside my chest-- how will this new little baby change me? I suppose only time will tell.....
<<Oh, child of mine, I wait in wonderment upon your doorstep-- knowing that your arrival will open my heart in ways I can only imagine.>>